All about Mou.

by Juice on May 19, 2012

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“Mou”- that’s blossip speak for me and you.  Like “Brangelina” with 99 44/100% less husband stealing heroin addicted whoariness and no billy goat beard. Ola cats and pajamas, how have you been? No.  I really need to know. Dish, sweetcheeks dish!  Oh sure I have stuff to talk about, but I’m not super motivated yet- [...]

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People who bring out the best in you: Sisterly Edition

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Hallo everyone! And Happy Mother’s Day to everyone with chitlins. I hope Dad has packed the kids up, and taken them to a 10k scavenger hunt/race at Legoland for the whole weekend while you have a spa day during which Merry Maids comes over and cleans the whole house and does the laundry so that [...]

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“Chassis”, if you’re Classy…

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The deed is done and there were some surprises! The first being how many of you really wanted me to buy Amerikan. I have had my share of Amerikin cars so don’t judge me. Eh, on second thought, g’head. Judge away. The second being how much was wrong with that 2007 Volvo s60 T5 from [...]

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What would you do? (No, really!) Probably not buy a “Segway”…

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So.  Those of you who play on Twitter know that as soon as I got my new job, my beloved car took a big ol’ stinky and broke down 3 times in the first 8 days of work. It wasn’t surprising, I was just hoping that Nico would last another 50-60k of miles. “Nico” is [...]

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Hackers keep on hacking

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Sure I could write about the LA Riots, and about how much Rodney King really should mean to us. Or I could write about my awesome community service experience at the beach…(because seriously, so awesome, way more dolphins and way less condoms than you’d EVER expect). I have a ton of things to say about [...]

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Two weeks by myself and then I feel shame

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I really don’t deserve to have anyone read this…not even you… Not even Paul Lynde. I know you want me to, but I can’t even lie and tell you I have been merely lurking in the shadows reading your posts and tweets. Hells Bells, I haven’t even watched hockey and the KINGS took game one [...]

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Thoms Kinkade: Post Mortem

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In the afterglow of the untimely demise of America’s Great Mall Artist, it turns out that they are going to do an autopsy on Thomas Kinkade’s remains.  TK’s death is apparently not, quite, ah… Well, it may be that his death was about as kosher as the millions of cranberry walled suburban homes bearing his [...]

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Morphine for Everyone! Everyone except Albert.

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In honor of all the idiots and fools Audiophiles who spent their weekend in the palm desert “enjoying” their favorite music in the only way such can be enjoyable: hoped up on a drug made only from sassafrass oil and the destruction of Cambodian rainforests , I give you my own little story about Morphine. [...]

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Scenes: The Love Toilet

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 SCENE INT-CASA LA JUICE DAYTIME. LANCE EMERGES FROM HALLWAY TO LIVING ROOM WHERE JUICE SITS RESEARCHING CARS ON THE INTERWEBS. LANCE So. Scoutkat has once again gone poop in the box. JUICE OHH Scoutie!!! Good boy, poopoo in the box, good boy poo poo in the box… LANCE Uh, I already conveyed that message. JUICE [...]

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This is not a hockey blog, but fuck you Brendan Shanahan. You are dead to me.

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NB: This post is NSFW, and its not fit for the ears/eyes of anyone under the age of majority. Its what comes when a lifelong hockey fan is forced into a corner by the flapping lipped pussies running the NHL. Fuck you Shanahan, fuck you to infinity. What? You say you can’t hear me over [...]

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