Thanks for indulging my earthquake obsession today! We will resume regular ridiculous broadcasting on Monday, I had a dream I desperately need you all to help me interpret….
So I saved this week’s EQ post for Saturday, because I need to update my earthquake car kit now that I am going to be commuting 60 miles a day, through Watts and Compton.
[Insert “All I need is this ashtray, my dog shithead and this Norinco SKS assault rifle, that’s ALL I NEED” joke here.]
If I believed in guns, I would totally think this was a circumstance in which I should be packing. Especially, after my theft experience and because I just have an inclination leaning toward natural hysteria. But I do not believe in guns. The stylish girl knows they are only tolerable when they look like Unkle Karl’s “Lagerfeld Specials” above.
If someone wants to buy me those shoes, then I’d wear the guns. Please buy me these shoes. Otherwise, I will have to make them on my own. No one wants that. Oh those shoes.. where were we? Yes, guns and earthquake kits….well.
Luckily for us, there are a lot of other things that should go in a car kit. Let’s start by see what mine has in it right now- Flash Earthquake Drill!
Oh please. As if your glove compartment looks any different. Yes, that is a disposable razor. You never know when a trip to the beach might suddenly present itself. Head, shoulders, pits and puss, keep it clean and slick chica..
Ok, ok. Here is my actual car kit, before I began really working on it:
Yea, you got me. There used to be water and energy bars in it, but I ate them years ago… Except for a fantastic safety kit my wonderful Uncle “Tad Worthington” gave me for Christmas [not pictured], my earthquake car kit is- as you can see- mostly just comprised of car wash materials. Ironic in the Alanis Morrisette sense [i.e.: not at all], because I never wash my car. In my defense ‘tho, I have been riding my bike everywhere for the last 9 months, mostly. And before that, well- I worked 3 miles from home. I can hoof that in 4 inch Lagerfeld Specials, if necessary. Go ahead try me! Call my bluff, I beg you.
But since everything has changed, so too has my priority. Let’s get to getting.
Wait, what happened? Where is the rest of this blog post?
Ha ha- Missy/ Mister, its been moved! Moved into my soon to be available on www.createspace.com and www.amazon.com as part of my first ever book:
Shaken Not Stirred: The Stylish Girl’s Guide to Surviving the Big One
Shake it work chicas- and please buy my book!