TL:DR

The Interwebs Killed the Hipster Star.

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30 Helens agree: we live in a world wide web where jokes, video-recored shots to the balzac, horrible auto-tuned songstresses and turns of phrase “go viral” for any and no reason, quickly becoming so overblown, so popular, so over-used and overshared that before they are declared “hip” they have become passe. Gone are the days [...]

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Blogher ’11: Its Not You, its Not Me, but I will Shank the First Mommy Who Blames a Man.

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Ok, let’s just get this out of the way. I don’t want to write this, I can’t imagine why anyone would read this, but if I just pretend it didn’t happen, I might make the same mistake in the future. Or worse, you might make my mistake when I could have warned you.  This is [...]

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Walking in LA, Nobody Walks in LA.

LA Juice’s Carmageddon Survival Guide Don’t give my your Caca crap (redundant, no?)- Dale Bozzio makes Caca look like a traffic cone. (Yes yes, and Wendy O. Williams made Dale Bozzio look like a derivative pile of Caca, sure, but W.O.W. didn’t write a “Carmageddon” appropriate song.) The Washington Post can scoff and titter, SF [...]

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A lack of Vicodin is a terrible thing to suffer

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Caveat: Blinding pain and an utter lack of Vicodin may make Juices in the mirror appear duller than they actually are… File this post under “Where the faulk have you been Juice?”  I am so glad you asked!  By way of explanation, would you accept “Blackout Inducing Back Spasms”? Well you better, because its all [...]

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Vicious Dodger Stadium Opening Day Attackers Still Not Identified

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A word on the vicious Opening Day beating at Dodger Stadium. Of course by “word”, I mean about 1,289. Sure that’s long, but I’m betting you’ll stay for the colorful insults and silly pictures. I wanted to wait to post about this until either: (a) more details about the attack came out; or (b) there [...]

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What Good is a Depraved and Deviant Mind if You Aren’t Using It to Take Over the World?

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Some of you may not yet be aware of this, but my moral compass has a sticking point. Sure, I root for the underdog and its true that I am full of bravado and puffery when someone treats a sick child badly- but everyone loves kittens and hates cancer. If you had the same (possibly) [...]

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Jon Stewart: A Call to Truthiness Arms! The People Need You.

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Jon Stewart! Jon, please.  I beg of you- send your crack team of reporters (or even just Riggle and Bee) out after “theprojectveritas”.  We all know there is only one ‘journalistic” man for the job. The one who purports to entertain. The One who can play the game better than anyone. The silver-haired fox not [...]

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The First Post is The Deepest

Your Blogstress and aspiring Author: LA Juice  @ the 2009 Winter Classic. Photo cred: J. Eash (c)2009-2011

  You can tell how seriously you take yourself when you sit down to hammer out the first post of a new blog. I’d be lying to you if I didn’t open this page, look at the blank screen and promptly think “Geebus, this first post has got to be staggeringly brilliant.” It has to [...]

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