Legal Treacle

 

DISCLAIMERS, NOTICES, RULES AND QUALIFICATIONS

In a Nutshell

Everything posted here (at, on and in) www.la-juice.com by me, the author, www.la-juice.com and ownership (collectively “la-juice.com”) is mine, mine, mine, all mine. Any story, writing, haiku, turn of phrase, photograph, image, drawing, picture, depiction is mine, mine, mine, all mine.

Except when its not. And when its not, we here at la-juice.com endeavor to give credit where its due. If somehow we have failed to do that, please contact us and we will remedy the situation as promptly as possible.

If you want to share, link, buzz, dig, reddit, or otherwise tell other people about www.la-juice.com and its Content (defined below), please have at it, so long as we don’t ask you to remove said link. But if you want to reproduce, copy, sample, taste, quote or otherwise use the Content for your own benefit, whether commercially or privately, you must get la-juice.com’s written permission or we will hunt you down, tar you and feather your sorry patoot. Plagiarism, stealing or otherwise single white femaling will not be tolerated. No one under any circumstances may use anything found at this website without properly attributing la-juice.com.

First and foremost, this website and the Content provided here is created and offered for entertainment purposes. Some content may not be appropriate for the office or the ‘tween set. Parents, monitor your children’s activities, its not our job and they probably should not be here.

Here at www.la-juice.com you should expect to see a vulgar turn of phrase, a little dirty innuendo and dirt: the occasional comment, sass, unqualified opinion based on rumor innuendo and speculation, or snarky aside about a celebrity or two. Nothing we say about any celebrity, politician, public figure, reality show maroon or kardasian has any factual basis in knowledge about that party. So for fuckssake, don’t take anything we say as the truth, because it’s all just for entertainment and shock value.

Any product or item mentioned here is based on opinion, but note: la-juice.com is not an expert in much of anything and has no training or qualifications other than being a cheap assed consumer with a platform. In other words, don’t rely on la-juice.com for expertise or knowledge, and we will all get along just fine. While on the subject, la-juice.com is not directly paid, bribed, cajoled or lavished with gifts by anyone, much less sponsors who want us to hauk their widgets. La-juice.com is not opposed to such circumstances, but so far no one is banging on the doors. if they do, we will tell you.

La-juice.com jadedly believes there is no such thing as an original idea or thought anymore, but if you post your Ron Popel/Billy Mays slapchop-ginsu, greatest American work of literary genius idea at www.la-juice.com, its considered unsolicited and you may not cry foul if you think someone riffed off it or used it, there are no original ideas and no one has any obligation to pay you for anything.

If you use, subscribe, join, comment or actively participate at www.la-juice.com, you are solely responsible for your actions. Obscene speech, hate speech, excessively vulgar, incendiary or abusive language or content (including spam)- as la-juice.com (in our sole discretion) determines- is strictly prohibited. We may kick you off the site and block your future participation as la-juice.com sees fit.

Website rules are subject to change at anytime without notice. You can reach us by email or below in the contact form.

 

For a more formal and detailed citation of the nutshell, please read on:

Disclaimers

Posts and articles at this website are the opinion of the author and may be based on publicly found rumor, innuendo, speculation, assumption and conjecture. Information on this site is strictly provided for entertainment purposes, may or may not be true and not meant to be taken as fact. la-juice.com makes no warranty as to the validity of any statements, rumors, innuendo, speculation, opinions, assumptions or claims posted at the website.

la-juice.com makes no warranties or representations as to the accuracy of the Content (defined below) and assumes no liability or responsibility for any error or omission in Content. la-juice.com does not represent or warrant that use of any Content will not infringe rights of third parties. la-juice.com has no responsibility for actions of third parties or for content provided by others, including User Content (defined below).

la-juice.com is not responsible for the similarity of any Content, materials or ideas provided to the website. If you post the next big idea here, its unsolicited, at your own risk and no consideration is due.

Your dealings or communications through www.la-juice.com with any other user, commentor, or other third party are solely between you and that third party. la-juice.com does not encourage users to share personal information with third parties encountered or “met” at www.la-juice.com. In fact, la-juice.com encourages you to take precautions to protect your personal information as much as possible.

Copyright

All information, content, images, digital media displayed on, transmitted through, or used in connection with www.la-juice.com, including articles, reviews, text, photographs, images, illustrations, audio clips, video, trademarks, logos, customization of theme and software and the like (collectively, the “Content”), as well as its selection and arrangement, is owned by la-juice.com and/or its affiliated companies, licensors and suppliers unless otherwise specifically stated. You may use Content online and solely for your personal, non-commercial use.  You may download or print a single copy of any portion of the Content solely for your personal, non-commercial use, provided you do not remove any trademark, copyright or other notice from such Content.

If you wish to link to www.la-juice.com, you may do so provided you agree to immediately cease such link upon request. No other use is permitted without prior written permission of la-juice.com. The permitted use described herein contingent on your compliance at all times la-juice.com’s  rules (which may from time to time without notice or warning be changed) and is expressly and automatically revoked if you have been banned or blocked from www.la-juice.com without necessity or obligation of any further warning.

You may not copy Content without express written permission. You may not distribute any Content to others, whether or not for payment or other consideration, and you may not archive, modify, copy, frame, cache, reproduce, sell, publish, transmit, display or otherwise use any portion of the Content. Except as expressly stated here, you may not republish any portion of the Content on any Internet, Intranet or extranet site or incorporate the Content in any database, compilation, archive or cache. You may not to insert any code software or product or manipulate the Content of la-juice.com, in any way.

Except for those images la-juice.com owns (all of which are copyright protected), images on www.la-juice.com are found in various places on the Internet and believed to be in public domain.

All Content at www.la-juice.com is believed to be posted within our rights according to state and federal law, the US Copyright Act of 1976, 17 U.S.C. §100, et seq. as amended, including without limitation the Digital Millennium Copyright Act( collectively the “Copyright Act”).

It is the policy of www.la-juice.com, in appropriate circumstances, to terminate the user account of anyone who is deemed to be infringing on third party intellectual property rights or to remove user content that is deemed to be infringing.

If you believe that any Content appearing on www.la-juice.com infringes on your copyright, please send an email to la-juice.com and include the following information. Your email must include the following:

1. your name, address, telephone number, and e-mail address;
2. a description of the copyrighted work of which you claim infringement;
3. the correct URL or a description of each place where alleged infringing material is located;
4. a sworn statement by you that you have a good faith belief that the disputed use has not been authorized by you, your agent, or the law;
5. your electronic or physical signature; and
6. a sworn statement by you made under penalty of perjury, that the information in your notice is accurate, that you are the copyright owner or authorized to act on the copyright owner’s behalf.

Once we have received and read your notification, any actual infringing material will be removed within a reasonable timeframe. Please be aware that that under Section 512(f) of the Copyright Act, any person who knowingly materially misrepresents that material or activity is infringing may be subject to liability.

Personal Information | User Accounts | User Content

www.la-juice.com will not sell, share or disseminate your personal information, except as necessary or required by law. If you comment, link, subscribe, share, like, or become a registered user at www.la-juice.com, you accept responsibility for all activities that you engage in at www.la-juice.com or which occur under your subscription or user account. By participating in the user community at www.la-juice.com, you agree to provide true, accurate, complete, and correct contact and personal information. We reserve the right to terminate your access and use of the website at anytime for any or no reason.

All Content, comments, links, writings, images or other works provided to www.la-juice.com by a user, visitor, subscriber, member or third party (collectively, “User”) are the sole responsibility of the user providing such Content. In other words, you are entirely responsible for all User Content that you provide.

When you provide User Content at www.la-juice.com, you agree to strictly adhere to these rules:

If a photo or video depicts any children under the age of 13, you affirm that you have written permission from the child’s parent or guardian to provide the photo or video.

You will not provide User Content that:

• contains copyrighted or other proprietary material of any kind without the express permission of the owner of that material.
  contains excessively vulgar, abusive, pornographic language or materials.
• contains language that is racist or hateful; expressions, epithets or slurs, text, photographs or illustrations of an obscene nature.
• contains defamatory, threatening, disparaging, grossly inflammatory, false, misleading, fraudulent, inaccurate, unfair language or information;  gross exaggeration or unsubstantiated claims, violates the privacy rights of any third party.
• is unreasonably harmful or offensive to any individual, including the www.la-juice.com or the User community, as la-juice.com shall determine.
• discriminates on the grounds of race, religion, national origin, gender, age, marital status, sexual orientation or disability, or refers to such matters in any manner prohibited by law.
• violates or encourages the violation of any law, rule, regulation or ordinance.
• advertises, promotes or offers to trade any goods or services, except as expressly permitted by la-juice.com.
• uploads or transmits viruses or other harmful, disruptive or destructive files, material or code, disrupts, interferes with or otherwise harms or violates the security of la-juice.com, or any services, system resources, accounts, passwords, servers or networks connected associated or affiliated with la-juice.com.

Hate speech, obscenity, spam, pornographic materials, defamation and attacks of a personal, racial or religious nature are strictly prohibited and posting any such content is automatic grounds to be barred and blocked from www.la-juice.com permanently. The classification of any such Content provided to www.la-juice.com and subsequent banning of the offending User shall be made, as solely determined by la-juice.com.

Official Contest Rules for  Contest We hold Here @LA Juice

To enter a contest at la-juice.com, follow the directions on the post relating to the specific contest.  Some contests may be judged and decided wholly and totally in the sole discretion of la-juice.com (me), and may be judged seemingly without rules rhyme or reason, or in fact not be fair at all, but totally subjective and stupid. But I promise you this, unless the only entrants are my mom, sister, blood relatives, cats or Lance, then my family members will not be chosen as winners of any la-juice.com contest. Unless they are the funniest, but then I will make them give the prize away to the runner up entrant, because its not fair. Still, you should watch it because Lance and my Sister are hilarious. Lucky for you they don’t seem to read this Blog.

To enter a contest, in most cases you will be required to comment on a post or send an email. If the method changes, la-juice.com will try to let you know in the particular contest’s blog post. The only way la-juice.com can indentify a winner is by the email address entrants provide. Entries will be deemed to have been submitted by the authorized account holder of the e-mail address submitted at the time of the entry. “Authorized account holder” is defined as the natural person who is assigned to an e-mail address by an Internet access provider, online service provider or organization (e.g., business, educational institution, etc.) that is responsible for assigning e-mail addresses for the domain associated with the submitted e-mail address. Contest is open to all legal residents of the United States and Canada. Entries must be original to entrant. Each winning entry may be published in any medium by la-juice.com without additional compensation to winner. Entries cannot be acknowledged and become the property of la-juice.com upon receipt. Submission of entry constitutes permission for la-juice.com to publish entry in a magazine or other written medium and on the website and use entrant’s email address and other submitted information for purposes of marketing and promotion.

Selection of Winner[s]: From all eligible entries received in a contest, la-juice.com will select a winner as described above. The decision of la-juice.com and our judge(s) is final in all matters. Winners will be notified by electronic mail or blog post. Winners notified by electronic mail, must reply with all contact information requested in the notification within ten (10) days from the date notification was sent, or another winner may be selected.

Limitations of Liability/Reserved Rights: Neither la-juice.com, its author, members, owner, proprietor, parent, subsidiary or affiliates shall have any obligation or responsibility with regard to (i) contest entries that contain inaccurate information or do not comply with these rules, (ii) entries, prize claims or notifications that are not received,  lost, late, incomplete, illegible, unintelligible, damaged or otherwise not received by the intended recipient, in whole or in part, due to computer or technical error of any kind, (iii) telephone, electronic, hardware, software, network, Internet or computer malfunctions, failures or difficulties, or (iv) any damages or losses of any kind caused by any prize or resulting from acceptance, possession or use of any prize. la-juice.com, in our sole discretion, reserves the right to disqualify any person tampering with the entry process or the operation of this website or otherwise violating these rules. la-juice.com further reserves the right to cancel, terminate or modify a contest if the contest cannot be completed as planned because of infection by computer virus, bugs, tampering, unauthorized intervention or technical failures of any sort.

Contests are subject to all federal, state and local laws and regulations; void where prohibited or restricted by law. No purchase necessary, just your undying devotion to the website. And maybe you could tell your friends to read it too?

 

Contact

To contact la-juice.com:

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